I wish life had little blips of pornography
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
Randomize