Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
Randomize
