Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
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