You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
