There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
Randomize
