Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
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