So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
im six kinds of drunk right now
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
I need a beard to bite.
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
Randomize