I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
Randomize
