she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
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