and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
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