This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
Randomize
