Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
I feel like abortions should bother me more
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
Randomize
