Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
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