I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
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