do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
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