Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
