I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
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