Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
Drunk walkin through police station. America
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Randomize
