Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
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