Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
Randomize
