Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
I CAN MOONWALK!
I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
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