You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
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