I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
Just drug him and when he wakes up be like "you just woke up from a coma, we've been married for the past five years." It'll be like the Vow but fucked up.
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
Randomize
