hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
Randomize
