Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
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