Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
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