You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
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