You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
Randomize
