so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
did i just pee glitter
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
Randomize