when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
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I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
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He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
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