The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Randomize
