yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
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