Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
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