Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
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