Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
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