We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
Randomize
