I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
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