I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
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