On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
Randomize
