Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
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