Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
Randomize
