i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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