can we get nightvision for the apartment?
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
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