i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
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