May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
i just made my gag reflex go away.
he was CRYING into my vagina
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
Randomize
