On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
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