so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
Randomize
