Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
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