Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
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