This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
Randomize
