We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
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