I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
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