So I hogged the stall at Denny's for so long that a little kid shit his pants and ran crying to his mother. Am I a terrible person for this being the proudest moment of my life?
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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