the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
Randomize
