i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize
