I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
Randomize