i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
The following message is brought to you by IMSOFUCKINGSORRY. Dude I'm really sorry I got you arrested last night. You are allowed to choose a repayment plan from the following options: Money, weed, or a single kick to the balls any time within the next calender months. Repayment outside of the aforementioned options can be negotiated and considered within reason.
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
Your shirt... Was in my pants
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
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