what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
Randomize
