i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
Randomize
