Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
I guess I fist pumped too hard. I hit my mom in the face and now we're sitting in the ER.
When we told the nurse what happened, she replied with "OH, Well you don't look Italian to me!"
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
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