i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
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