i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
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