Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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