That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
