Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
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